Slow Burn

It begins with a darkglowing ember
something black burningit's way out of me
Searing the flesh
pain is the only thingI feel
scars all I see
Oh no the fire's burningmy insides again
what can I do to silencemy desire tonight
Face consumer reason leavingall the ashes there
you won't catch mefor granting my decision
I can't keep telling myself
what I want to hear
I can't just close my eyes
I know that it's killing me
and it's poisoningthe best of me
but I say
I don't want to believe
So let me tell you boy
tell you boy
about the lies I lead
That is how i choose to
douce the flames in gasoline
Broken teeth replace the blackoutmemories in my head
Wreckage from the blast
it often shakes meto the floor
I know it's overbut I can't go home tonight
And after this I feel asempty as the night before
feel the pain and yetI'm still begging for more
Masochistic nihilistic gurgingwrecked up thoughts
My life's a mess and
I can't find a wayto fix it
I can't keep telling myself
what I want to hear
I can't just close my eyes
I know that it's killing me
and it's poisoningthe best of me
but I say
I don't want to believe
So let me tell you boy
tell you boy
about the lies I lead
Calling calling out
The darkness reaches up my soul
I'm riddled with self doubt
Crawling crawling out
my will to fightwill more than suffice
while others will lay down
It's onlyas dark as you make it
I know that it's killing me
and it's poisoningthe best of me
but I say
I don't want to believe
So let me tell you boy
tell you boy
about the lies I lead