Ghosts on Retinas

What am I waiting for
What do I hope to find
Lieing here
Inside my mind

So much gathered energy
Falling in between
Focusing on how I hurt
Introvert

I search my heart, I search my soul
A bust without console
I search the ground I search for more
I just can't find the door
I can't decide, I can't control
I lost control
I have no faith, I have no goal
I have nothing
Nothing to explore

Paralyzed from the neck up
No twinkle in my eye
And I have no devotion
No chills go down my spine
Paralyzed, but in slow motion
Like a zombie
I keep on moving round and round
Making sure I can't be found

Panic rising from inside
Adrenaline set in
Still I won't move an inch
The world outside passes me by
With the blinding speed of light
Captured ghosts on retinas
Fading out

I never laugh, I never feel
It is hard to conceal
I never hurt, I never heal
What is fake, what's for real
I don't believe, I believe
I would've never believed
I would never believe again
I don't believe this
Believe me I never would've believed
You'd believe me if I told you how
If I told you how I feel

Paralyzed from the neck up
No twinkle in my eye
And I show no emotion
No tears fall at goodbye
Paralyzed like from some potion
I'm gripped by this stunning notion
A sensation so profound
I cannot make a sound

Apathy spreads fast through me
Like gangrene dark and cold
Life and death entangled
Infection growing sore
From that struggle in the past
So what am I waiting for