Welcome to YouTube

Before YouTube I walked through life
And now I frolic
YouTube's been like a father to me except
YouTube's not an alcoholic
Before YouTube I was just a skinny white kid that thought he was funnier and cooler than he actually was
And now...
Well not much has changed but I have a shitload of money
'Cause YouTube is a place for people to share their ideas
If by people you mean thirteen year-old girls, and by ideas you mean how they love the Jonas Brothers
I'm just kidding, but let's be honest, that's a hefty majority
And if you don't believe me, well then you must be a newb

You don't know what you're missing
Just try searching 'women kissing'
It's YouTube
It's what this countries been needing
A generation of kids who don't waste their time reading
Am I the only one who thinks that Lisa Nova's hot?
And Chris Crocker's not
No.... he's hotter

Most of the best YouTubers are either Asian or they're gay
So there's an untapped YouTube celebrity and his name is George Takei
And your favorite coat's got a doo-doo stain
I pray to God that that's 'Chocolate Rain'
And I find videos of babies laughing a bit intrusive
Because Barack Obama won the election because of YouTube
Wait did I say YouTube, I meant the black vote
And I think YouTube and Fred are so cool
And 'What the Buck' will be back in a Jiffy Lube

I said listen and linger
Charlie the Unicorn bit my finger
It's YouTube
The impact is evident
Miss Teen South Carolina just ran for vice-president
Upload a video, you got nothing to lose
Except all of your friends
And the approval of your parents

Hi, my name is Mary and I'm nineteen years-old and I got drunk at a party and I think someone was video taping it but I don't want anyone to see it 'cause I showed half of my boob
Sorry Mary!
Say hello to YouTube
Say goodbye to your college scholarship
And if your video doesn't appeal to me
You gotta change the key...word

And it'll keep on going
And it'll never stop, no
Until it's privatized