bangers and mash (1999 digital remaster) - peter sellers
him:
i met 'er down in napoli and didn't she look great
and so i brought 'er back to blighty just to show me mates
and though we're married 'appily, i'll tell ya furthermore
i 'aven't 'ad a decent meal since nineteen-forty-four!
her:
eat your minestrone, joe!
him:
that's all you ever say!
her:
eat your macaroni, joe!
him:
ev'ry blinkin' day!
her:
no wonder you're so boney, joe
and skinny as a rake!
him:
well then, give us a bash at the bangers and mash me muvver used to make!
him:
bangers and mash
her:
minestrone
him:
bangers and mash
her:
macaroni
him:
give us a bash at the bangers and mash me muvver used to make!
her:
eat your tagliatelli, joe!
him:
that's all i've 'eard for years!
her:
eat your vermicelli, joe!
him:
it's comin' out me ears!
her:
you've got to fill your belly, joe!
joe, for heaven's sake!
him:
well then, give us a bash at the bangers and mash me muvver used to make!
her:
well, alright!
him:
bangers and mash
her:
tagliatelli
him:
bangers and mash
her:
vermicelli
him:
ah, give us a bash at the bangers and mash me muvver used to make!
(spoken. all voices by sellers):
american reporter:
nineteen-forty-three, allied forces land in italy!
1st soldier:
there's a smashin'-lookin' bird over there, bert. i think she's showin' out there.
2nd soldier:
well, why don't you chat 'er up then?
1st soldier:
right! bongourno signorina now. 'ere, are you married?
italian girl:
(unintellible reply)
1st soldier:
there y'are. can't 'ave a fairer answer than that, can ya!
her:
i met him back in italy, so dashing and good-looking
he wined me and he dined me ev'ry night
he said i smiled so prettily and how he loved my cooking
but since he's married me, it seems he's lost his appetite
him (italian accent):
eat your tagliatelli, joe!
her (cockney accent):
that's all you ever say! ooohhhhh!
him:
eat your vermicelli, joe!
her:
ev'ry bloomin' day!
him:
you've a-got to fill your belly, joe!
joe, for heaven's sake!
her:
well then, give us a bash at the bangers and mash your muvver used to make!
him:
bangers and mash
her:
minestrone
him:
bangers and mash
her:
macaroni
him:
give me a bash with the bangers and mash!
her:
(laughing)
him:
like the same one what your mother was!
her:
(laughing)
him:
what you laughing at now?
her:
(laughing)
him:
(indistinct)
. . . . . please!
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