Undertaker

undertaker - monty python
um, excuse me, is this the undertaker's?
yup, that's right,
what can i do for you, squire?
um, well, i wonder if you can help me.
my mother has just died and
i'm not quite sure what i should do.
ah, well, we can 'elp you.
we deal with stiffs.
stiffs?
yea. now there's three things
we can do with your mum.
we can bury her, burn her, or dump her.
dump her?
dump her in the thames.
what?
oh, did you like her?
yes!
oh well, we won't dump her,then.
well, what do you think:
a burner, or a burier?
um, well, um, which would you recommend?
well they're both nasty.
if we burn her, she gets stuffed in the flames,
crackle, crackle, crackle,
which is a bit of a shock if she's not quite dead.
but quick.
and then you get a box of
you can pretend to hers.
oh.
or, if you don't wanna fry her,
you can bury her.
and then she'll get eaten up by
maggots and weevils,
nibble, nibble, nibble,
which isn't so hot if, as i said,
she's not quite dead.
i see. um. well, i.. i.. i.. i'm not very sure.
she's definitely dead.
where is she?
she in the sack.
let's 'ave a look.
umm, she looks quite young.
yes, she was.
fred!
yea!
i think we've got an eater!
i'll get the oven on!
um, er...excuse me, um, are you...
are you suggesting we should eat my mother?
yeah. not raw, not raw.
we cook her. she'd be delicious
with a few french fries,
a bit of broccoli and stuffing. delicious!
what! i i
well, actually,
i do feel a bit peckish - no! no, i can't!
look,
we'll eat your mum. then,
if you feel a bit guilty about it afterwards,
we can dig a grave and you can throw up into it.
all right.