Hot step moms and surrogate dads
It breaks my heart to see him so sad
Lying alone in his room with a frown on
Reruns show him what he's missing out on
If life could be, like he sees it on T.V.
He wouldn't have to hurt so bad
Hurt so bad cause
It's too much drama
It's too much drama, dad and mama
Traded back and fourth until he turns 18
It's too much drama
The kid don't need a new step grandma
So he joins a family on the screen
Can't you see?
Too many parents leave
Too many sets of parents leave
A kid who can't believe
How they can think that he can take it
It's all he can do to fake it
Out for a weekend with real dad
But the only thing real is how real bad
He just wants his life to be black and white
Those people never fight
If he could xerox
A home from the talking picture box
He wouldn't have to hurt so bad
Hurt so bad cause
Chorus
So he turns to T.V. for help and for guidance
A lot of his virtues he picked up from Linus
Fonzie taught him what it means to be cool
From Doogie he learned that he must go to school
Three's Company taught him that just acting gay
Could lower the actual rent he would pay
Cops showed beating your wife and your neighbour
Could immortalize you and your double wide trailer
Chorus