Epilogue

In a nightmare, I am falling from the ceiling into bed beside you

You're asleep, I'm screaming, shoving you to try to wake you up

And like before, you've got no interest in the life you live when you're awake

Your dreams still follow storylines, like fictions you would make



So I lie down against your back, until we're both back in the hospital

But now it's not a cancer ward, we're sleeping in the morgue

Men and women in blue and white, they are singing all around you

With heavy shovels holding earth, you're being buried to you neck

In that hospital bed, being buried quite alive now

I'm trying to dig you out but all you want is to be buried there together



You're screaming

And cursing

And angry

And hurting me

And then smiling

And crying

Apologizing



I've woken up, I'm in our bed, but there's no breathing body there beside me

Someone must have taken you while I was stuck asleep

But I know better as my eyes adjust

You've been gone for quite a while now, and I don't work there in the hospital

(They had to let me go)



When I try to move my arms sometimes, they weigh too much to lift

I think you buried me awake (my one and only parting gift) 

But you return to me at night just when I think I may have fallen asleep

Your face is up against mine, and I'm too terrified to speak



You're screaming

And cursing

And angry

And hurting me

And then smiling

And crying

Apologizing