Lifeboats

lifeboats  -  senses  fail

i  just  want  to  feel  alive.

and  love  myself  from  the  in  and  the  outside.

'cause  every  time  that  i  start  to  feel  whole,

i  knock  myself  on  the  ground  because  it's  all  that  i've  known

just  like  the  streets  burn  a  hole  through  your  shoe.

my  soul  has  been  worn  out  too,

i'm  25  and  i  still  don't  fit  in

directionless,  like  a  blind  man  painting

mother  i'm  so  sorry,  i  can't  go  on  like  this.

the  lifeboats  are  leaving  with  or  without  me.

what's  the  point  of  falling  in  love?

if  i  don't  love  myself.

what's  the  point  of  being  alive  if  all  i  want  is  out.

so  i  thought  that  it  only  feels  right

to  make  the  decisions  that  endanger  my  life.

late  late  at  night  under  black  and  blue  moons.

i  question  in  the  reasons  that  i  self-abuse.

i'm  so  pathetic.

it  makes  me  sick.

i'm  a  fingerless  pianist.

i  see  reflections.

i  clench  my  fists.

i'm  a  violin  without  the  strings.

mother  i'm  so  sorry,  i  can't  go  on  like  this.

the  lifeboats  are  leaving  with  or  without  me.

what's  the  point  of  falling  in  love?

if  i  don't  love  myself.

what's  the  point  of  being  alive  if  all  i  want  is  out.

there  is  no  love.

there's  only  this:

just  lust  and  lies,  and  selfishness.

a  black  hole  where  the  sun  once  was.

i'm  never  falling  back  in  love.

'cause  it  has  never  been  enough.

ever  since  i've  been  a  young  boy  i  was  alone

now  that  i've  become  a  man,  the  feeling's  grown.

through  the  therapy  and  through  the  pills,  i  can't  let  go.

but  what  about  the  *****in  fact:

i'm  still  alone.

what  do  you  do  when  you  got  nothing  left?

give  up!  give  up!  and  hope  for  the  best!

i  fell  into  the  ocean,  i  and  i  feel  sick,

waiting  on  a  nameless  rescue  ship.

what  do  you  do  when  you  got  nothing  left?

give  up!  give  up!  and  hope  for  the  best!

i  fell  into  the  ocean,  i  and  i  feel  sick,

waiting  on  a  nameless  rescue  ship.

mother  i'm  so  sorry,  i  can't  go  on  like  this.

the  lifeboats  are  leaving  with  or  without  me.

what's  the  point  of  falling  in  love?

if  i  don't  love  myself.

what's  the  point  of  being  alive  if  all  i  want  is  out