Rosetta Stoned

Alrighty, then ... picture this if you will.



 10 to 2 AM, X, Yogi DMT, and a box of Krispy Kremes,

 in my "need to know" pose, just outside of Area 51

 Contemplating the whole "chosen people" thingy

 when a flaming stealth banana split the sky

 like one would hope but never really expect

 to see in a place like this.

 Cutting right angle donuts on a dime

 and stopping right at my Birkenstocks,

 and me yelping...



 Holy fucking shit!



 Then the X-Files being,

 Looking like some kind of blue-green Jackie Chan

 with Isabella Rossellini lips, and breath that reeked of

 vanilla Chig Champa

 Did a slow-mo Matrix descent

 Outta the butt end of the banana vessel

 And hovered above my bug-eyes, my gaping jaw,

 and my sweaty L. Ron Hubbard upper lip,

 and all I could think was: 

 "I hope Uncle Martin here doesn't notice

 that I pissed my fuckin' pants."



 So light in his way,

 Like an apparition, 

 He had me crying out,

 "Fuck me

 It's gotta be

 the Deadhead Chemistry

 The blotter got  on top of me

 Got me seein' E-motherfuckin'-T!"



 And after calming me down

 with some orange slices

 and some fetal spooning,

 E.T. revealed to me his singular purpose.

 He said, "You are the Chosen One,

 the One who will deliver the message.

 A message of hope for those who choose to hear it

 and a warning for those who do not."

 Me. The Chosen One?

 They chose me!!!

 And I didn't even graduate from fuckin' high school.



 You'd better...

 You'd better...

 You'd better...

 You'd better listen.



 Then he looked right through me

 With somniferous almond eyes

 Don't even know what that means

 Must remember to write it down

 This is so real

 Like the time Dave floated away

 See, my heart is pounding

 'Cause this shit never happens to me



 I can't breathe right now!



 It was so real,

 Like I woke up in Wonderland.

 All sorta terrifying

 I don't wanna be all alone

 While I tell this story.

 And can anyone tell me why

 Y'all sound like Peanuts parents?

 Will I ever be coming down?

 This is so real

 Finally, it's my lucky day

 See, my heart is racing

 'Cause this shit never happens to me



 I can't breathe right now!



 You believe me, don't you?

 Please believe what I've just said!

 See the Dead ain't touring

 And this wasn't all in my head.

 See, they took me by the hand

 And invited me right in.

 Then they showed me something

 I don't even know where to begin.



 Strapped down  my bed

 Feet cold  eyes red

 I'm out of my head

 Am I alive? Am I dead?

 Can't remember what they said

 God damn, shit the bed.



 Hey ...



 Overwhelmed as one would be, placed in my position.

 Such a heavy burden now to be the One

 Born to bear and bring to all the details of our ending,

 To write it down for all the world to see.



 But I forgot my pen

 Shit the bed again ...

 Typical.



 Strapped down  my bed

 Feet cold and eyes red

 I'm out of my head

 Am I alive? Am I dead?

 Sunkist * and Sudafed

 Gyroscopes and infrared

 Won't help, I'm brain dead

 Can't remember what they said

 God damn, shit the bed



 I can't remember what they said to me

 Can't remember what they said to make me out to be the hero

 Can't remember what they said

 Bob help me!

 Can't remember what they said



  won't know (x12)



 God damn, shit the bed!

――――――――――――――――――――――――――――――――――转自TOOLSHED