Houses We Die In

...and I miss home, and I miss the closets, the windows, the hallways

And when we are gone, who will keep up the garden?  

Like a mother calling her boy, I am, I am so unsafe

But she can't do it alone 

but there's nothing stronger than her prayers.

Nothing stronger than the smell of reds. 

My fathers reds



Under bridges waiting to look forward, waiting for rushes ends

Living in the moment is the homeless mantra, they know the busiest streets

All we have, all we have, all we have is letting a sleeping dog lay

All we have, all we have, all we have is letting a sleeping dog lay

Your face lit up and for once, i enjoyed where i was

The truth is jade plants die, the truth is muscles atrophy

Softening your skin and hardening mine



"I don't know where to begin

I've thought about this day so much and thought of so many things I've wanted to say

but now, now I can only look at you like the pictures I spend hours staring at 

I don't think I've ever smiled so wide as when you were holding me up

I was given a picture the other day of a past birthday

We were together on our back deck



I remember.

You were covered in powdered sugar from the donuts you were eating

I've always loved watching you smile





Yes I remember. I hope she appreciated all my hard work



I wish I had a different story to tell

I seem I have drifted fairly far away from what you taught me 



You were always the (indecipherable)



I'll admit there hasn't been much to smile about since, since you left



I didn't leave, I fought for five years to stay at your side



What do you remember about that night?



I remember a family that loved their wife and mother very much.



How can you say that? 

We were liars

We clung to those songs like we so desperately wanted to Cling to you.



Then I don't think you heard the same song I did



You had to know I was lying

You had to know how much I hated myself for smiling like a fool

For spending our last few minutes together deceiving you



Matthew, your smile in the face of your greatest fear was the greatest gift a mother has ever received from her child 



I miss you



I know."



Everyone cares, every eye carelessly tiptoes around you, watching you, 

They'll wear black ties, and as they applaud, I'll count claps

Like the old fig tree the master cursed

the arms that gave us life

take so much more.